Yesterday my 13-year-old daughter said to me: ‘Hey fam, can I yeet a heckin’ sandwich?’ Reader, I stared at her for a full ten seconds. I knew most of the words. I’d even used them myself. But I had to stop and translate, because she is a product of the internet and on the internet, language and meaning are different. Then I told her to get her own sandwich.

Today, Greens staffer Paul McMillan offered to resign after his tweets were made public (they were already public). A long-time feud between the Greens and the ALP has exploded, culminating in premier Daniel Andrews ruling out a deal should Labor fail to win a majority at the next election.