Right before before Christmas I threw my dog, my guitar, and a change of clothes into the back of my car and headed off on a solo road trip. Having made a solemn promise to myself to switch off my phone and avoid all contact with my real life during my ten days away, I thought it would probably be a good idea to set up an out-of-office auto reply for my email, because that is the kind of professional woman I am. I patiently explained to anyone who had bothered to get in touch with me that I had taken myself off on a vision quest, and I would be unable to attend to their correspondence until I had returned from this important journey—preferably after having discovered my spirit animal.

When I returned from my Luddatical—that’s a word I just made up to describe a sabbatical where you embrace being a Luddite—my inbox was positively heaving with electronic missives. Some of them were even from real humans with real things to discuss with me, not just generic press releases and Google Alerts set for the world’s ‘Girls Aloud 2012 Tour Australia’. (I don’t have to explain myself to you.) Many of these real humans appear to have enjoyed my out-of-office reply, but for some reason they seemed to think it was a joke. I mean, really. Do I seem like the kind of woman who would make up a quasi-amusing tale about vision quests and spirit animals in order to entertain anyone who bothered to email me from mid December onwards? I only wish I had added even more truthful revelations regarding my trip away. Examples might have included: