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Trauma Testaments and Creative Vertigo

Amal Awad

Summer 2019

My first ‘proper’ published piece of writing was a satirical rant on being an unemployable graduate (arts/law), published in the now-defunct Heckler section of the Sydney Morning Herald. Heckler didn’t pay, but I arrived at the scene before digital overtook print and was thrilled to see my name on the back page of a weekday edition.

It was a couple of years after September 11. But the Australian media had its Muslim spokespeople, and I had no desire to be a mouthpiece in this excruciating moment. So in my debut mainstream piece, I didn’t write about being Muslim in an increasingly Islamophobic world. I wrote of my struggles to transform the high of graduating with a challenging degree into a meaningful career, one where the pile of rejection letters grew so thick I went from paper clip to bulldog. I included a template for a rejection letter in the piece, in what was, I suppose, a cleansing of my disappointment, but I did it with humour that was razor sharp. I wasn’t simply acknowledging my failure; I was critiquing an issue that affects most of us. And I didn’t question if it was my name or the headscarf I wore on my head that hindered my progress.

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Meanjin is open again for subscriptions! Thank you all for your patience as we’ve undertaken the transfer of the journal to its new home.

The next edition of Meanjin will be available from December 2026. Information on the purchase of single editions – in print or ePub formats – will be available closer to time.

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  • In Print
  • Online Only
    • Latest Pieces
    • Reading Trails
    • What I’m Reading
  • Read
    • The Meanjin Papers
    • Poetry
    • Essays
    • Fiction
    • Memoir
    • The Meanjin Interviews
    • Experiments
    • State of the Nation
    • The Year In…
  • Books
    • Reviews
    • Australia in Three Books
    • What I’m Reading
  • Writers
    • Interviews
  • Buy
    • Subscribe
    • Where to buy
  • News
    • Announcements
    • Events
  • About
    • About Meanjin
    • First Peoples First
    • People
    • Editorial Advisory Panel
    • Copyright and Payment
    • Partners
    • Get Involved
    • Contact
    • Privacy
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