Back in the day—my day, my schoolgirl days, the 1980s—there was no such thing as Schoolies. No debauched gatherings of stupefied adolescents delirious on drugs and newly bestowed freedom, making hay for a week or two, preferably on a northern beach. In my day, there was only one day to let your stress-frazzled hair down. Muck-Up Day.

I’m looking at costume designer and ‘gender illusionist’ Michael Gates’ mile-high, luscious lurex creation ‘Carmen Miranda’ headpiece, held in the Powerhouse Museum’s collection in Sydney, and I’m straight back at Muck-Up Day, 1986.