A child psychiatrist colleague provided me with a moving description of interdependence. She witnesses a dance between parent and child unfold in the same manner, time and again, in her consulting room.  A baby is attempting to walk, very unsteadily.  Anxiety shows in their face and in their wobbly body.  Locking eyes with their parent, the baby’s demeanour changes. Their molecules seem more cohesive, their stance straightens and their face relaxes into delight.  Held and sustained by this loving gaze, their steps become surer.

It is not lucky that the parent is watching, but precisely because they are watching, that these successful steps are possible. Seeing this for themselves (and having their role in it affirmed by my colleague), the parents, too, improve in confidence.  The reciprocal gaze of their beloved child reveals their own value to them, and their shared joy becomes an experience which can help assuage their inner doubts and vulnerabilities.  In short, we are forged in relationship to one another, simultaneously vulnerable and strong.