When I found out that Raya had killed herself, we hadn’t spoken for ten years. I look her up. A single selfie on Instagram. Her face has not changed. Dimples in the same place. A new piercing through them, but their impact on me has not subsided. Pulling at her necklace. Side-eyeing her own camera. On her YouTube channel I see she only liked one video: Methadone withdrawal chronicles day 30.