What better way to celebrate Australia Day than with a tale of colonial nincompoopery.

The man who gave us the name ‘Australia’ was a chap by the name of Matthew Flinders. For those of you denied an education with an emphasis on Western European derring-do, Matthew was the first man to draw the shape of the land mass that we all live on today. He was white and from England. The Dutch—who were also white but not from England—had…