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I believe all actions of the imagination are ‘true’ actions—that all the places I’ve travelled in books or paintings or films I have, in some sense, truly traveled to.  >

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Classifieds/Personals

To place a classified, please head over this way.

THE WRITERS’ WORKSHOP

28 April – 21 June 2014, with best-selling Stephanie Dowrick. Monday evenings at Allen & Unwin, Sydney. Increase your inspiration & learn the skills to craft a good book www.allenandunwin.com/faberacademy Call 02 8425 0171

EDIT YOUR NOVEL

with Allen & Unwin publisher & top literary agent. Thursday evenings 1 May – 27 November 2014 in Sydney. Go to www.allenandunwin.com/faberacademy Tel: 02 8425 0171

WRITERS RETREAT

1 bedroom fully furnished cottage + studio on Dangar Island, Hawkesbury River. Available to a writer or visual artist at a reduced rate of $150 per week from May – October 2014. Dangar Island is 1 hour from Sydney with a regular ferry and train service. Contact anapollak@hotmail.com or ring 02 99857707.

Dear Zelda Catzgerald

Thank you for the baby mouse on my pillow. How did you know?

To George

Remember me. Love, Ann.

To Meanjin

On this Valentine’s Day. Why won’t you publish my speculative fiction about a divorced couple in the suburbs who lose their cat in the year 3011??? WHYYYY?

On Valentine’s Day love the planet, clean energy jobs and equal marriage.

Vote for Scott Ludlam in the Greens in WA senate re-election, and in state elections in SA and Tasmania. Chilla Bulbeck—Cottesloe, WA.

Roses are red

Violets are blue
Florists get paid*
Writers should too.


With love,

paythewriters


*average $19.18/hour

Darling(s)

When I’m mean about your writing, please remember: arrows of longing.

Mere male, sixties but still a child,

rapturously retired from getting and spending, alone with his books and ideas, seeks goddess who loves words and language and is fascinated by the human condition—view talking, reading, writing, loving, forever. Email wordsandlanguage@hotmail.com

Novel THE MIDNIGHT PIANIST

for the young & young at heart by Julia Osborne. Author Candida Baker writes: A delightful coming of age story about first love, teenage dreams and the courage to face reality…all told through a filter of beautiful music. From bookstores, Amazon or juliamaryosborne.com

DESPERATELY SEEKING ERRORS

Alan Vaarwerk is a freelance proofreader, copyeditor and writer. Experienced in print and digital trade fiction/nonfiction, literary journals and academic writing, Alan offers a variety of services for publishers, individuals and businesses. www.alanvaarwerk.com

Need a Critical Friend?

I will give you the feedback you need to get your writing off to the best start possible. Professional yet empathetic reports. For full details including price contact Natalie Muller at natalie-muller@optusnet.com.au

WRITING A NOVEL (INTENSIVE)

This is a unique opportunity to experience Faber Academy’s six-month Writing a Novel course condensed over three long weekends in Sydney, starting 11 October 2013. Taught by award-winning novelists Kathryn Heyman and James Bradley. www.allenandunwin.com/faberacademy

Need words?

I am a writer and editor specialising in plain English writing for the finance sector, pharma and government. I have worked as an ABC journalist and have a Grad Dip in Publishing and Editing. I use the Australian Government’s Style Manual. $80/hour. Contact suparna@informationdesign.net.au.

Looking for something to read on the toilet?

Materiality is a themed journal containing essay, fiction & verse, about the material and the physical. Issue #1 is about the book, form and function. Cookbooks, artists' books, reading on the loo & more pinknantucket-press.myshopify.com

Do you like memoir? Me too!

Want to join me and some friends in tracing the past with Alice Pung? Alice is really nice and an incredible author. Also nice: doing this you get warm fuzzies creating literacy opportunities for kids in Melb’s west. www.100storybuilding.org.au/100-story-studio

Clothing for Correspondence

Too busy to write letters? Can’t find the words? We hate to brag, but we write particularly well when bribed with the promise of gorgeous frocks. That’s right, we take care of your correspondence in trade for your awesome hand-me-downs. It’s win-win. www.clothingforcorrespondence.com

Wanted: Papers and Proposals for Critical Animals '13

The Critical Animals Creative Research Symposium, as part of This Is Not Art, is currently calling out for artists and thinkers to apply to present at this year’s festival. Applications close April 1st. For more information, please refer to the submission details at our website: http://criticalanimals.org

NO WRITER IS AN ISLAND

Members of Writers Victoria get discounts on all our courses plus weekly enews bulletins and the monthly Victorian Writer magazine, jam packed with all the must-know writing goss, info and opportunities. Our membership perks are sure to make you popular, at least with non-members.

Tim Soutphommasane boldly stakes a claim

for the overwhelming success of multiculturalism in Australia. Soutphommasane shows that multiculturalism is more than laksa, kebabs or souvlaki and that it doesn’t automatically spell cultural relativism, ethnic ghettos or reverse racism. In fact, multicultural Australia has been a national success story. For more info

Australian Poetry seeks applications from Australian poets

for the 2014 International Poetry Tour of Ireland, a one-month tour to include readings and workshops at festivals, events and venues around Ireland. Applications close Friday 4 October 2013. Email nell@australianpoetry.org for more details.

Calling South Australian writers!

If you’re not a member of the SA Writers’ Centre why not think about joining and become part of our state wide network of authors, illustrators, screenwriters and playwrights. Great workshops, lots of cool writing events and our quarterly magazine, Southern Write.

As part of Australian Book Review’s new Events program,

Wayne Macauley, author of The Cook, will read from and discuss his books at ABR’s office at Boyd (Wednesday 10 October). The ABR Elizabeth Jolley Short Story Prize winner will be announced in a ceremony at Boyd on Wednesday 26 September. www.australianbookreview.com.au/events

Blarney Books & Art in Port Fairy

is hosting the 23rd Annual Children’s Picture Book Illustration exhibition Picture This. Presented by Customs House gallery, this runs for September. Thurs-Sun 11-4. www.blarneybooks.com.au

SOS

Twenty-something male recently marooned in Canberra.
Seeking people with whom I can be simultaneously high and low brow. Happy mediums need not apply.
I would have spelled this message out in rocks on a beach, but, sadly, we have neither sand nor frequent plane flyovers. Email aubadebooks@gmail.com

Rugged gamekeeper required for small inner city apartment.

Experience in husbandry advantage; not essential. Must be independent with own working equipment, licenses, etc.
For lady, early 50s. Nicely aspected, well-maintained, comfortable estate with sunny outlook.
Email lizadez@netspace.net.au

My name is the Review of Australian Fiction.

I’m looking for multiple readers to have a good time with. I like to share. I’m reliable and consistent, you never quite know what you’re going to get, but I’m always entertaining and thought provoking. My favourite colour is plaid. reviewofaustralianfiction.com

21-year-old Creature of the Lagoon

seeking swamp-mate for conversation and chess tournaments. Applicant must be completely hairless and not be afraid of Creatures of the Lagoon. Must like water and damp things. Amphibians preferred. Email meanjin@unimelb.edu.au with the subject heading ‘Amphibians’.

THE AUSTRALIAN WRITER’S MARKETPLACE 12TH EDITION

New edition now available: the ‘industry bible’ for Australian writers includes up-to-date contact and submission details for publishers, literary agents, writing competitions, and more. INTRODUCING NEW AWM MINI-TITLES!
Publishers & Agents
Writing Competitions
Freelance Opportunities
To order: Queensland Writers Centre www.qwc.asn.au 07 3842 9922

We would play Guess Who;

we’d drink sangria in the park; we’d love coriander; we’d share the paper, leaving Drive and Domain untouched; we’d talk in riddles, derived from books, music, politics and puns. But this is me, not we. So ideally you like icy-poles. prefersthepost@gmail.com

Australian Book Review

seeks entries for the seventh Calibre Prize for an Outstanding Essay, the nation’s premier award for an original essay. The Prize is intended to generate fine new essays and to foster new insights into culture, society, and the human condition. First prize $5000, closes 10 December. More info here.

Award Winning Australian Writing 2012 coming soon

Selections for Award Winning Australian Writing have been finalised! The 2012 edition—featuring fifty-two awesome stories and poems as well as a foreword by multi-award-winning poet Mark Tredinnick—will hit stores in November. Check out the list of included pieces and pre-order a copy on the Melbourne Books website.

Need a writer? An editor?

Aden Rolfe is an accomplished writer and editor with expertise in manuscript editing, tender and report writing, web content and promotional copy. Working in the arts and corporate sectors, he offers a range of services for people who need words written, edited or proofread. www.adenrolfe.com

We’re not as popular as you are on Facebook!

Facebook is the medium of the generation. Or is it? What does this medium mean for artists? Does it translate to brick and mortar validity? A spoken word and music event, where writers have to drop the letter ‘f’ and word ‘book’ from their pieces. More info here.

Human Rights website seeks new audiences.

Likes: hot showers, cold drinks, podcasts and social justice. Dislikes: cold showers and ambivalence. Find us at www.rightnow.org.au

Dumb podcast seeks smart listeners.

JOMAD I Heard You Like Books is a homemade podcast by Johannes Jakob and Madeleine Crofts. Past guests include Michael Williams, Lisa Dempster, Chris Flynn and Clementine Ford. We talk about books, what’s making us happy and go on tangents about how hot tubs are like soup for your genitals. Listen here.

Urban Homosexualist Seeks Same.

NS, AZN, DTE, GSOH, LGBTIQ, NEG, BLT, UNICEF, KWIJIBO, HHOJ/K LOLOLOL. My skin has been described as “teflon smooth”, my mouth has been described as “sewer like” (language-wise; not hygiene). Medically underweight, if you’re into that sort of thing. I can cook and drive manual cars, much to everyone’s surprise, including myself. CALL ME.

Repulsive, sensitive to noise.

Desire exists in me. We may not ever marry but we will write. Meine Geschichten sind meine Söhne. You will get used to my friend, Max. Or just forget the ghost that is me and live in happiness and peace as you did before. Praha, box 1883.

Celebrate The University of Melbourne's annual Australian Centre Awards

Recognising some of Australia’s best creative and critical talent. This year we will be awarding the prestigious Kate Challis RAKA Award, the Peter Blazey Fellowship and the DJ O'Hearn Memorial Fellowship. More information.

The City of Rockingham Short Fiction Awards competition.

Features over $2,000 in prize money in 3 categories. Entry is free. Entries must be inspired by the artwork on the entry form. Entries close on 12 October. To download an entry form or for more details go here.

Art school failure seeks similar.

40, 5’ 8”, former ginger; no future, many failed ambitions. wltm no-one at all. Want boredom? You got it. I am the end of the most tedious novel you ever read.