Keeping Secrets
Guest Post by Phill English
September 08
This morning I watched a TED Talk by the bright and enthusiastic (at least from this one talk) Derek Sivers. Like every other TED talk I’ve watched, it spoke very immediately to a practise that I’ve been guilty of, but never quite realised I was doing: telling people my goals and then completely failing to achieve them.
According to Sivers (and psychological research stretching back to the 1920s) the act of telling people about something you are planning to do greatly decreases the chance of you doing it. The reason is simple once you think about it. By telling people what you are planning to do, you are already receiving some positive social feedback regarding that activity. Your friends are already enthusiastic and congratulatory: ‘Wow, that’s great/good on you/good luck!’ Some of the satisfaction in being recognised as a success by your peers has already been transferred to you, and you feel less inclined to actually do whatever it was you’ve planned.
While Sivers’ example is that of, say, losing weight, I think it applies equally to creative projects. While I acknowledge that the support of a writing group or artistic collective can be a great thing (my own output has certainly increased since joining one), it can also be dangerous in that here are people that really want to hear your ideas. They want to see you succeed, and spilling the beans can be awfully tempting. I recently did something really dumb: I had two seeds of stories half-drafted for Twelfth Planet Press’ Speakeasy anthology and I announced this fact at my writing group, and then again on Twitter. Congratulations and admiration all round, except then I didn’t feel like finishing them. There was no real reason why at the time, just a sudden lack of motivation. I’m fairly certain that what I experienced was exactly what Sivers is talking about, and looking back I can see a lot of points in time where I’ve boasted things and then failed to follow through. Conversely, recent occasions where I have decided to do something and just got on with it have proved to be very fruitful (the most recent examples of which I can’t tell you about, as they are ongoing and I don’t want to jinx myself).
So in the future, I’m going to try and maintain a balance in my goal-setting. I’m going to get as far as I can on the back of my own motivation, and if I run out of steam that way, I can always rely on my friends and peers to give me a pick-me-up (or a ‘put this down and walk away’, if it’s truly awful).
Cross-posted from Tooth Soup.
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Comments
08 Sep 10 at 9:15
This is an interesting theory and I can see how it often works too, but at the same time have had a bit more success with public goal setting. I set goals on my blog each month and have to report on them at the end and feeling like an idiot posting that next month that I failed is a kind of push and a deadline to keep me motivated.
But then again, I did fail most of my goals last month…
...08 Sep 10 at 9:21
I’ve always done what you do, Benjamin – but I’m beginning to think it’s the wrong approach. Great post, Phil. Thanks.
...08 Sep 10 at 9:45
Hilarious, albeit perhaps unintentionally? I never tell anyone my goals as I feel silly when they don’t eventuate (of their own accord, of course). But from now on I will – at least then I can have me some of that ‘satisfaction in being recognised as a success’ by my peers. As well as no end result…
...08 Sep 10 at 13:45
I do this ALL THE TIME. I like to think it happens because ideas want to break out into the world and explore, but if you haven’t trained them properly before they do they’re likely to run away and not come back. Part of learning to finish for me has always been intimately connected to learning to, as you say, keep secrets.
...08 Sep 10 at 13:50
Great post, this is really sage. (Shhhhh! :)
...08 Sep 10 at 13:58
I’m actually the reverse – that is I rarely like to talk about my writing projects until they’re almost complete. I think it’s probably to do with some weird, compulsive introversion, plus this kind of stupid feeling that if I talk about it too soon I might jinx it…
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