Dear Danny – fictitious dedications by Etgar Keret
JA
July 09
Short story writer Etgar Keret has a peculiar habit when it comes to autographing books. Confessing that he’s always felt uncomfortable with the fakery associated with common missives (‘“In Friendship,” borders on falsehood; “With Admiration,” doesn’t hold water; “Best Wishes” sounds too avuncular; and “Hope you enjoy my book!” oozes smarm from the capital H to the final exclamation point’), he decided to create his own ‘genre’ of fictitious dedications.
Here are a few:
To Danny, who saved my life in the Litani. If you hadn’t tied that tourniquet, there’d be no me and no book.
To Mickey. Your mother called. I hung up on her. Don’t you dare show your face around here anymore.
To Sinai. I’ll be home late tonight, but I left some cholent in the fridge.
To Feige. Where’s that tenner I lent you? You said two days and it’s a month already. I’m still waiting.
To Tziki. I admit that I acted like a shit. But if your sister can forgive me, so can you.
To Avram. I don’t care what the lab tests show. For me, you’ll always be my dad.
Hard to top in my mind. Perhaps something for more gutsy scribes to try this coming MWF?
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Comments
09 Jul 10 at 17:51
After being on the receiving end of far too many ‘best wishes’ signatures, these are really amusing!
Probably my favourite signing was with Jasper Fforde who, upon learning that I was studying nanotechnology (the ‘grey goo’ apocalypse of which is featured in one of his books) wrote ‘Good luck with the nantothecncddjhflkdajaf’ trailing off into an incomprehensible blur. :)
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