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Dear Danny – fictitious dedications by Etgar Keret

JA July 09

Short story writer Etgar Keret has a peculiar habit when it comes to autographing books. Confessing that he’s always felt uncomfortable with the fakery associated with common missives (‘“In Friendship,” borders on falsehood; “With Admiration,” doesn’t hold water; “Best Wishes” sounds too avuncular; and “Hope you enjoy my book!” oozes smarm from the capital H to the final exclamation point’), he decided to create his own ‘genre’ of fictitious dedications.

Here are a few:

To Danny, who saved my life in the Litani. If you hadn’t tied that tourniquet, there’d be no me and no book.

To Mickey. Your mother called. I hung up on her. Don’t you dare show your face around here anymore.

To Sinai. I’ll be home late tonight, but I left some cholent in the fridge.

To Feige. Where’s that tenner I lent you? You said two days and it’s a month already. I’m still waiting.

To Tziki. I admit that I acted like a shit. But if your sister can forgive me, so can you.

To Avram. I don’t care what the lab tests show. For me, you’ll always be my dad.

Hard to top in my mind. Perhaps something for more gutsy scribes to try this coming MWF?


 

Comments

by phill
09 Jul 10 at 17:51

After being on the receiving end of far too many ‘best wishes’ signatures, these are really amusing!

Probably my favourite signing was with Jasper Fforde who, upon learning that I was studying nanotechnology (the ‘grey goo’ apocalypse of which is featured in one of his books) wrote ‘Good luck with the nantothecncddjhflkdajaf’ trailing off into an incomprehensible blur. :)

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