TOURNAMENT OF BOOKS FINALE: THE CHILDREN'S BACH VS GILGAMESH

VS

Welcome to the finale of the Meanjin Tournament of Books. It’s been one heck of a wild ride, and I think it’s fair to say no-one would have predicted Gilgamesh and a resurrected The Children’s Bach as our final pairing.

In this final round, a panel of previous Tournament judges, along with captain of the cheer squad, Lisa Dempster, give their choice for ultimate victor. Book with the most votes, wins. It’s short, sharp and brutal. Just the way we like it.

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Michael Williams

Gilgamesh is terrific, and a personal favourite, but I’m going with The Children’s Bach. It’s tough, it’s lyrical and it won a zombie for crying out loud: how could it lose? Garner’s classic won’t just eat your brains; it’ll eat your heart too.

VOTE: The Children’s Bach

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Robyn Annear

What a choice. Call me menopausal, but I choose London’s cool heat over Garner’s slangy sass.

VOTE: Gilgamesh

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Michaela McGuire

Having already judged this exact match in Round One, I find it strange that Meanjin won’t bow to my request to simply give me the final say in this matter. That wouldn’t be ‘democratic,’ apparently. For the reasons I’ve already outlined, my vote goes to Gilgamesh.

VOTE: Gilgamesh

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Rebecca Giggs:

The Children’s Bach is up there on my top ten books read in 2011 list; it is, undoubtedly a writer-reader’s book, a work of stunning craft and emotional compression. I’ve passed my copy on now, and followed it up with The First Stone, Joe Cinque’s Consolation, The Feel of Steel, True Stories and Monkey Grip. Indeed, for the last few months I’ve been on a Garner-reading glut. With a better sense of her oeuvre, The Children’s Bach remains a standout book.

VOTE: The Children’s Bach

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Lisa Dempster

Joan London’s Gilgamesh has doggedly made its way to the final, irking me with every win. That said, my vote here is not against London’s novel, but decidedly for Helen Garner’s: for her spare prose and emotional honesty, my vote for the win is The Children’s Bach.

Vote: The Children’s Bach

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AND THE WINNER, WITH THREE VOTES TO TWO, IS:

HELEN GARNER’S THE CHILDREN’S BACH

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Ben: Here we are. The final countdown. The big show. Thunderdome. Two books enter. One book leaves. The other book waits for a bit, then the first book comes back and apologises for leaving its phone on. Then they do some fighting. Then they shake hands, and wave to the crowd. It’s a wonderful tradition as far as I know, and I can’t think of two books I would rather see locked in mortal, Predator-versus-Jason-style combat than these two, unless you count the Bible and Where Did I Come From? And really, that’d be a similar battle to this one, since, like the Bible, Joan London’s Gilgamesh has ripped off the Epic of Gilgamesh, and The Children’s Bach does indeed tell us where we came from, in an emotional sense. Probably. I’m not sure because I haven’t read it — I prefer to remain impartial. But I’m sure The Children’s Bach teaches us valuable lessons about who we are as people, even without nude cartoons, and there’s no denying it packs a punch with the critics. Going into this match I thought it was too close to call — with hot favourite My Brilliant Career having gone down like a sack of severed limbs, disappointing its millions of fans and Judy Davis, the competition was thrown wide open, and we found ourselves with an underdogs' final for the ages.

Jess: At this point, I’d like to remind you that early on in the piece I predicted that My Brilliant Career WOULDN’T end up winning this Tournament of Books (I have no beef with Miles Franklin, it’s just I couldn’t deny my Piscean intuition /compulsive gambling habit) and I believe you owe me ten bucks, Pobjie. I will accept cash, or a food voucher as payment. As you were.

Ben: It was with relish I watched these two champions hurl themselves into the fray, Garner’s critic-intoxicating attitude charging head-on into London’s geographical hurly-burly. It seemed that Gilgamesh’s habit of making people dislike it would be its downfall, but it’s proven itself a wily competitor, forcing people almost against their will to declare it a great novel. A neat trick, I think. Jess, your thoughts?

Jess: Agreed, Ben. It takes a fairly mighty text to make it this far in the competition even though the words “Oh no, don’t tell me bloody Gilgamesh managed to win yet another round!” were muttered more than once over the past few months by the blood-thirsty spectators who packed out Meanjin’s virtual coliseum, so Joan London’s novel certainly deserves some kudos for making it to the final bout. But at the end of the day, after a heartbreaking loss in the semi finals that was promptly followed by an audience decreed resurrection from the dead, Helen Garner’s magnificent tale of how the human body deals with puberty (hang on, that doesn’t sound right AT ALL, but let’s move on swiftly before we are declared idiots by all and sundry…) has taken home the trophy.

Interesting to see that hardcore Garner fan turned reluctant executioner Michaela McGuire has resolutely stuck to her guns, refusing to reverse her earlier ruling that Gilgamesh was the better book, isn’t it? Now THERE’S a lady with conviction! And while she may have the likes of Robyn Annear in her corner, it just wasn’t enough to stop the zombified heart-munching Children’s Bach when it came to the final hurdle.

Bravo, The Children’s Bach. And well fought, Gilgamesh. I tip my metaphorical hat to both of ye.

Ben: I think the most impressive part of the victory was the way in which Garner maintained her slangy sass. That slangy sass had served her well in the early rounds, but a lot of people thought it wouldn’t stand up to the heat of a final, and she should trade it in for a good time-travel subplot, or a talking animal. But she, much like uber-critic Michaela McGuire, stuck to her guns, hurled her slangy sass into the fray, and it was a tactical triumph.

Well done, indeed, The Children’s Bach. Played hard, done fine. You’re an inspiration to aspiring novels everywhere. And while we’re at it, well done to Gilgamesh. You too have achieved much, even if you will forever be known as a loser. That’s life, I guess. Literature is a ruthless world. And I think that’s the lesson we’ll take out of the Tournament of Books more than anything.

Congratulations TCB (those initials ain’t no coincidence!). Dear readers we shall see you next year.

Pobjie and McGuire, signing off.

A huge and heartfelt thank you to all our judges, the outraged fans, the authors of all of these brilliant Australian novels, and of course to our brilliant, incisive commentators.

If you’re in Melbourne, please join us this evening (Thursday 12th December) at the Wheeler Centre’s new bar The Moat for celebratory/commiseratory drinks from 6pm. All welcome.