Lemonricks
Joe Dolce
A selection of limericks from the irrepressible Joe Dolce
A student of Darwin named Bunky
debated a Creationist junkie:
‘Your theory of hosannas
is completely bananas
Jesus evolved from a monkey.’
There was a timpanist named Flynn
who forgot to tighten his skin
during Beethoven’s 5th
at the mark fff
he hit it too hard and fell in.
My grandmother sang from Puccini
while attempting to boil fettuccini
once doing a rendition
in a yoga position
she slipped, scalding her kundalini.
A three-legged dog from Hanover
tried pissing on hydrants in Dover
winds from the Channel
would disorient the spaniel
she’d lift her back leg and fall over.
There was a French chef named Marais
whose wig fell in the soufflé
it wouldn’t rise higher
so he set it on fire
and served it up Toupée Flambé.
A student of Schoenberg named Otis
in yoga could do a full lotus
he stood on his head
used eleven tones instead
fortunately nobody noticed.
